Bob Cramer's Blog

My oldest child, Ben, turned 30 this weekend, and Sally, Sara, Jack and I threw a little outdoor, COVID-safe, party for him in the backyard of his new Nashville home. It was a perfect night, almost too cold for short sleeves, but the fire, the drinks, and the simple humanity of being with people once again to celebrate important occasions warmed the southern sky.

Two fully-vaccinated friends of Ben flew in for the big birthday weekend: his buddy, Max, who Ben first met when he was a 12-year old at Camp Jam, in from NY where he has basically been holed up in his Brooklyn apartment for over a year; And a former roommate, Charlie, who after three years in Nashville, moved back north only to have COVID scuttle all of his plans and send him, like so many others, back to live at home.

Add to this “happy to be out and about” group were Ben’s Nashville friends, many who are tied to the music industry and, like all of us, ready to thaw out from the great COVID isolation. Owen, Henry, John, Stephen, John, Ben, Will, Hannah, Braison, Matt, significant others, two precious babies, a couple from the new neighborhood, Ben’s cousin, Tim who is visiting Nashville for a month, a puppy and other friends made for a glorious gathering.

Of course, many dear people in Ben’s life could not attend: broader family, Ben’s girlfriend, Ben’s manager and many others. They were all missed.

But this was a start, a stab at normalcy, and a great way to spring forward, hopefully in a post COVID world, for Ben, for our family and friends, and for all of society.

On this evening, we hugged, we laughed, we feasted on Martin’s Bar-b-que, we listened to music, and we consumed specialty Tequila and Bourbon drinks from the rented Aero Bar, a magnificent bar setup on wheels. We ate a masterpiece birthday cake featuring Ben’s picture and together sang “Happy Birthday”, all amidst the smoke and light of the backyard tiki torches. After all everyone has been through this past year, on a brilliant April night, it was as if all of our long-dormant senses came budding to life in a beautiful bouquet.

One thing that did not happen was the toast that Ben’s father had planned to make. Yes, some of this blog is written because I am mad at myself for not seizing the occasion. And it wasn’t because I wasn’t prepared. Note to self: never ask the birthday boy if you can say something. When you throw the party, and it is your child, and you are the oldest one there, you can say what you want. Perhaps all of this social isolation has impacted my social skills, but I clearly whiffed.

But Ben, you don’t get off the hook so easily. While I wish I had not asked for your permission and now may ask for forgiveness, Dad always gets the last word (smile). So I am going to say publicly what I wrote to you privately in your birthday card:

Dear Ben,
Happy Birthday! 30 years, you have been a blessing ever
since you came into the world. We love you so much and
we are so proud of you–the person you have become, your
drive, your kindness, skills and passion. I can’t wait to
see what is next and I’m so glad to be your Dad.

Love you so much, Dad